Do you want your child to obey you, follow the rules of Islam? Islam teaches us how to raise up a child that would obey you and not do what other children are wrongly doing. In this article, we shall discuss how to raise up a child that would be obedient to his/her parents and maker according to Islam.
An obedient child is one who respects his/her parents and elderly people in the society, does what he/she was asked by his/her parents, doesn’t commit adultery, doesn’t involve in any antisocial activities that his/her mates are doing, etc. If you have a child that is obedient, you will have rest of mine.
Today, we will discuss how to raise up an incident child in Islam. To raise a child who’ll obey you and do what is right doesn’t happen overnight. In some cases, if parents are not a God fearing persons, their child will likely become obedient.
Your children are the user of all the work and everything you are doing on this earth. In Islam, it’s believed that what ever your child uses your property to do, you will have a commission, that is, if he/she uses it in a good way, you will have a reward and if he/she uses it in a bad way, you will have a negative reward which is punishment.
Read this also: why you must have to perform janaba ghusl (man and woman).
For you to have peace of mind in the world and hereafter, you have to raise up an obedient child. How to raise up an obedient child in Islam? Let’s start to list and explain to you top best tips.
How to train an obedient child in Islam
- Select good Islamic name for them
- Make their Islamic education a top-priority
- Teach them the importance and significance of Worship
- Practice what you preach
- Determine what they are good at
- Make the basics a routine
- Discuss with them the previous generation
- Discourage them from doing what current generations are doing
- Let them learn skill
- Marry for them or support them in marriage.
1. Select good Islamic name for them
Immediately your baby was born, recite the adhan/ the call to prayer in his/her right ear. Then select a beautiful and meaningful name to your child.
Don’t ever give your child a name that has negative meaning. Your first duty toward your child as Moslem is choosing good name for him/her.
Read this also: top best Islamic baby girl names to give to your child.
2. Make their Islamic education a top-priority
When the child begins to speak, teach them Kalimah Tayyibah (make Allah to be one). Do make their Islamic education/knowledge a top most priority.
First, teach them how to say ”La ilaha illalLah, Muhammad-ur-Rasool-Ullah” which means, “There is no God except Allah, and Muhammad is Allah’s Prophet”
- As they grow up, they need to understand that there is only one God, known by the name Allah, and the ultimate purpose of their life is to worship Him.
- They must be reminded of this truth, day in and day out, and must worship Allah with their tongue, heart, thoughts, actions and whole being.
- Teach them that as believers we have the opportunity to enjoy the bounties of heaven, but as they get older we must also warn them about what will happen if we don’t believe or don’t make the sacrifices that Allah has asked for.
- Teach your children the 99 names of Allah, so that they can better understand His attributes
3. Teach them the importance and significance of Worship
Remember, kids learn what they see more than what they hear. So be a role model for them. Offer Salah (prayers) before them and let them listen to you reciting the Holy Quran. This way they will realize you are doing something important and they will try to follow you. Encourage them to worship alongside you.
- Teach them that as Muslims we are different from the non-Muslims. Dress yourself and your children in accordance with Islamic tradition in order to help them develop their Muslim identity.
- Place the Qur’an at the centre of your child’s life. Young minds are very receptive so children should be encouraged to read and memorise from an early age. Teach them to recite the Qur’an in Arabic and help them to understand its meaning in your native language.
- By the age of 7 the child should be learning the correct way to pray the obligatory prayers (salah). From 10, the child should be praying all five salah correctly and on time every day. If the child shows any carelessness or reluctance to pray, for example refusing to get up for Fajr, then they should be reprimanded as the Prophet Salallahu Alayhi Wa Salam has taught us.
- This is an important lesson on the road to complete submission to Allah.
- Teach your children that whenever we need or want something in our lives, whatever it may be, we should make dua to Allah using His names and attributes, with confidence and also patience that He will answer us.
- Tell them that our dua will be elevated by our good deeds and that we should ask of Allah in good times as well as bad.
- Encourage them to learn and recite the duas made by the Prophet (Salallahu Alayhi Wa Salam) throughout the day, for example when they enter and leave the bathroom and at meal times, and remind them that these are a beautiful form of worship that help to keep our hearts pure.
- The child needs to understand that since Allah gives us so much and yet asks for so little in return, it is our duty to complete our acts of worship with deep sincerity and to the best of our ability.
- Help them to come to understand that Islam is a way of life that guides us through every aspect of our lives, including our faith, family relationships, law and social order.
4. Practice what you preach
Another way to raise an obedient child in Islam is practice what you teach them. Don’t do what you don’t want your child to do in his/her presence. For example, if you are a smoker, don’t smoke in his/her presence or completely leave smoking if you don’t want them to smoke.
Get them admitted to good schools where they are free to practice Islam. Ask them about their day at school and, when they are old enough, check that they said their prayers on time. If they have any problem, encourage them to share everything with you.
From the age of about 5 all Muslim children should attend Qur’an classes. They may find madrassa stricter than secular school but it will help them become accustomed to sharing the company of other same-gender children motivated to learn about Islam and will instill the lifelong habit of learning.
- The whole family should aim to spend at least 15 minutes together each evening to read and recite Qur’an – this will help the young children to understand that the Qur’an lies at the center of family life and give them the opportunity to practice what they have learned in madrassa.
- The minds of children are very receptive, so great emphasis should be placed on memorizing the Qur’an while they are young.
- Taking your children to the local mosque for prayers will help them to feel part of the Muslim community and impress upon them the significance of their 5 daily prayers.
- Encourage your children to develop a sense of sisterhood and brotherhood with other young Muslims. This will strengthen their faith and help them to build a shared resolve to study their religion and remain obedient to Allah.
- Be aware that state-run schools in some countries normalize and even encourage behavior seen as immoral by many religions including Islam.
- Depending on your location, you may be able to withdraw your child from lessons on relationships and sexuality if you feel they contradict the teachings of Islam.
5. Determine what they are good at
Carefully observe anything your child does/practice and determine what he/she is really good at. Islam recommend to let a child learn a skill or career which he/she is good at if is halal.
Don’t learn a skill that is against Islam such as music, smoking, prostituting, kidnapping and more other antisocial acts. Determining what your child is good at or can be able to do well will help you know how to raise him/her up in an obedient way in Islam.
See this also: what to do before proposing your wife to be in Islam.
6. Make checking them a routine
It is important to continue to keep an eye on their manners and behavior. They may experience peer pressure from both Muslims and non-Muslims, so be sure to keep an eye out for warning signs.
Any impermissible act of a sexual nature or anything that leads to it, such as inappropriate internet usage or chit-chatting with the opposite gender, should be of particular concern to Muslim parents.
7. Discuss with them the previous generation
Do not allow your child what the previous generations did that brought disaster to them and entire world and advise them not to do the same.
They should be reminded that any willful transgression upon themselves will be recorded and will have to be accounted for on the Day of judgment, and that the Qur’an prescribes a severe penalty for the unmarried, male and female, who are unable to contain their desires.
Discuss the life of Fir’aun (may woe be upon him) with them, how he positioned himself and how God disgraced him. Also discuss how prophet Yunus (may peace be upon him) suffered in the belly of fish, how he kept his faith in God alive and how God deliver him from there.
In order to raise up an obedient child in Islam, always discuss the lives of previous generations, hence, show him/her the one that is good to emulate.
For example, after discussing their life, ask him/her, ”which one is worth to emulate”.
8. Discourage them from doing what current generations are doing
Do not allow your child follow the creatures and disobey the Creator. Parents should speak with them about the physical, psychological, social changes and warn them against their dangers before puberty arrives.
Encourage them to ask sincere and awkward questions – Islam addresses even sensitive issues with grace and openness.
Adolescents should understand that the desires that they experience are Allah’s way of guiding them towards marriage and having children, but as with many of the world’s great religions, intentionally acting on them outside marriage is forbidden in Islam.
- Tell your teenagers that you will help them find a spouse when they are ready. Promise them your support in the meantime and guide them towards self-control by avoiding any from of temptation, busying themselves with study, worship and fasting.
- They need your support during this time, but also need to be made aware that they are now accountable for all their sins, so will need to develop self-discipline through fear of displeasing Allah.
9. Let them learn skill
If your kids have creative inclination, encourage them to express themselves. Be proud of what they do and do not laugh at or mock their work. For example, if your kid has written a poem, show that you value their work. Perhaps hang it on the wall or on the fridge.
- Discourage them from drawing animate beings (animals and humans). Instead, teach them to draw flowers, mountains, objects and the like.
- Guide your children away from the dangers of listening to music and instead encourage them to appreciate the beautiful sound of the Qur’an recited with Tajweed.
- Many Muslim parents chose to protect their children from the harmful influence of television by removing it from their home or restricting its use to educational and religious programs.
10. Marry for them or support them in marriage
Anytime you notice that your child is mature, marry for him/her or support him/her to pick out his/her spouse to you and support them to marry each when the chosen spouse is good.
Let them know that wet dreams are normal and blameless and are a blessing from Allah to release any tension they may experience. You may notice your child staying alone and keeping their feelings to themselves; they may have bouts of anger or sadness or rebelliousness.
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