How to propose a lady for marriage in Islam (the recommended ways)

Have you just met a lady who you like to stay together with in your lifetime and also hope that she will be there for you in hereafter? First of all, propose or bring to her attention and ask for her hand in Marriage. How should propose to a lady for marriage in Islam without breaking Allah’s and his prophet’s rules and regulations? Here, we have discussed how to propose to a lady for marriage in Islam. If you are interested, then let’s start now.

The first step to do anything in Islam is making an intention or niyyah that the lady you saw or have met is kind and beautiful in your eye and you are also going to propose to her and ask her hand in marriage. By making a niyyah, first ask for Allah’s protection and guidance. Now, go to her and discuss with her.

Allah has made everything in pair, there is paradise and hell fire, there is man and woman, there is heaven and earth, there is good and bad, etc. If you are a man without being married, you are not a complete human being yet. Although, in Qur’an, Allah, the most high ordered us to marry at least two wives or most four in order to make focus worshiping and doing our daily duties without having an intention to have Islamic illegal sex, Zinna.

There is no successful marriage you see on earth today without the involvement of proposal, a proposal may came from a husband or a wife. It is not haram for a lady to propose to a man she likes in Islam. If you are feeling shy to propose to a guy, send your friend to him, he won’t terminate your life. Though, naturally, it is a man suppose to propose to a lady. Hence, in view of this, let’s look at how to propose to a lady for marriage in Islam.

How to propose a girl in Islam (the recommended ways)

Are you wanting to propose to a lady for Marriage and searching how to go about in it in the way that it is accepted in Islam? Here, we have listed and explained how to propose to a lady you love and like asking for her hand in marriage. The step by step guides on how to propose to a lady in Islam in a recommended way without breaking rules and regulations in Islam are discussed below one by one.

How should a Moslem brother seek for Allah’s protection and guidance when ever he want to propose to a lady for marriage? First step is perform ablution and make a minimum of two rak’at of Salat (Nafl), send peace and salutations to our noble prophet Muhammed, May be of Allah be upon him and his companions, send praise and appreciation to Allah, the most high and recite dua Istikhara with an intention of proposing to a lady.

Please note that dua Istikhara must be performed first before you start doing anything. Perhaps, dua Istikhara is a prayer for every one to make when choosing one out of two or more or when some one want to do new thing. If you pray dua Istihara before you start doing something, the protection of God will guide you from the beginning till the end. Hence, no any satanic power can have influence on you and the thing you want to do.

However, if you meet a lady at a club, mall, market, seminar, etc. and you like her, you don’t have to pray Istikhara before you discuss with and ask her for her number but make sure you will perform Istikhara before you further your discussion to a degree of marriage because is a necessity if you want Allah’s guidance and protection. May He guide through your proposal down to your marriage (ameen).

Read this also: how to do Istikhara for marriage step by step.

Why is it important to make a marriage proposal in Islam

It is very important to make a marriage proposal at the right time to a right person who you love in Islam. Islam has taught that two brothers in faith (Islam) should love each other because of Allah and religion that joined them together. Hence, every lady in Islam is your sibling and that shows that there will be peace of Allah between you if you decide to love each other because of your religion and love of God, his prophets and their companions.

Another important of proposing a lady and marry her in a way that Islam ruled and directed, you become a very important person (VIP) in the eye of God and all the Angels. God will be with you nearer the way He was be with you before, hence, everything you ask Allah to do for you, he won’t hesitate and delay because he knows that you are having a lot of responsibilities.

The reason why Moslem brother should perform dua Istikhara before they propose to a lady for marriage is not anything but to gain protection and message from their Creator, Allah. If the lady you want to marry is not your destined wife or she will make you enter hell fire or make your life worse in dunya and here after, if your creator loves you, He won’t make that marriage successful. Anything that happens to you, be it good or bad, bear it, it was destined by Allah.

Step by step guides on how to propose a lady for marriage in Islam

  1. Ask other people about her on her behalf.
  2. Look at her deeply.
  3. Determine her psychologically.
  4. Try to know more about her religion.
  5. Make sure she is beautiful to you enough.
  6. Try to know the family she is from.
  7. Make sure she does Islamic activities.
  8. Investigate if she is fertile.
  9. Make sure she has leadership mind.
  10. Examine and make sure she is not a prostitute.
  11. Perform dua Istikhara.
  12. Propose her.

1. Ask other people about her on her behalf

After meeting a pretty lady somewhere maybe at a club, mall, seminar, on the street etc., greet her in Islamic way (Assalamualaqum), if possible try with her a little, for example ”how are you?”, ”what did you come here to do?”, ”is your near hear?”, ”what is your name?”, ”Ahh, awesome, please can I have your number?”. If she agreed to give you her number, then that show that you have done step one.

Now, another steps are explained as follows. After some hours or days, call her on telephone and introduce yourself to her, then tell her that you want to come her location so that she should describe where her parents house is.

As you going, don’t go to her parent’s house directly. Just simply ask other people about them. At this point, be careful not to be scared away as you may be told wrong information about her and parents. I don’t know how you study person. If it is me, within three minutes, I have known the type of person she is.

2. Look at her deeply

Look at her, look at her and look at her again and again also make her look at you in the same way to study the psychology of one another. In Islam, it is ideal to marry for somebody, thus you have to go out yourself and find the person that is beautiful and God fearing.

A lady that has a fear of God is determine using different ways such as at here fore heard, her dressing code, method of her movement, the way she speaks, etc. Make sure she is very pretty enough to you, tall enough if it is a tall wife you want, fair in color if it is that you want, in fact, you have the choice and know the type of wife you want to marry. In conclusion, make sure she is enough in terms of anything you want to marry her for.

In Islam, you are permitted to ask her any question like the number of children she wants to give birth to. Make fun with her at the moment. Observe her both back and front, in fact, try to check everything about her and also letting her check yours by looking at other places while discussing with because some ladies can’t maintain eye contact with a man.

3. Determine her psychologically

To determine a lady psychologically means studying her internal and external character. Many ladies nowadays pretends they are good to be married while they will after few weeks of marriage become opposite to what they pretended.

Failure to determine the psychology of a lady before marrying her can ruin your life and that of others around you. If you want to propose a lady for her hand in marriage, Islam instructed us to ask about her wellbeing from two or more of her neighbors, if the 75 percent of what you are told about her is positive, then go ahead to make final proposal.

Make sure to know the level of how she respects an elderly and her parents. Does she argues with her parents? Or does she criticize her parents and other people around her? If you are in 60% places being told that she is rude an shameless, then don’t continue to propose her because she will be rude and treat your family members the same way if you finally get marry to her.

4. Try to know more about her religion

Religion is a vital duty of every man on earth. A man or woman that doesn’t pray Salat should not be married no matter how successful he/she is. A lady without praying a salat is classified as a free creature, she doesn’t know her Lord, Allah.

It is not every lady that regularly dresses in an Islamic way truly prays, in this case, how should you if a girl is a true religious lady since marrying such a wife is a necessity and rewarding in the eye of God? First, look at her fore head, ask her some questions relating to Islamic prayers and how each one can be prayed in a recommended way.

Word of note from your Creator: don’t marry a wife or husband because of her or his wealth if she or he is not a Moslem even though she or he begs you.

5. Make sure she is beautiful to you enough

In Islam, men are being instructed that they should marry beautiful ladies as maximum as four. Don’t propose a lady that is not beautiful in your eye. A lady that looks ugly to you is the prettiest lady to some men.

Remember that a ladies you would marry were being selected before you were born, hence, you can change your plan but Allah’s plan is unchangeable and that is why you many relationships breaking nowadays. The key point about breaking up in relationships that have been happening every where is the destiny of God. If God did not destine you to marry a lady that you love, there is no way you would marry her successfully.

Don’t accept a potential spouse chosen by another person like your parents or friend because what they really love may be what you wholeheartedly hate.

6. Try to know the family she is from

Knowing the type of family where the lady you want to propose was raised is also a step of getting married in Islam. However, if for example you have conclusively deduced that her parent are not a Moslem, you should not become discouraged if she practices Islam and obeys Allah’s instructions and stays away from what He has prohibited.

In Islam, it is good to propose and marry a lady whose her parents are a not a Moslem. Please ask her deeply to tell you her philosophy about being Moslem and non Moslem. From her answers, make sure that she is not going to join her parent’s religion after the Nikkah has been initiated.

In Qur’an, it is shown that a Moslem can give birth to a non Moslem child (may God forbid us) while a non Moslem can give birth to a Moslem child, that is a work of Allah to make us remember his power and ability of making bad thing our of good things and good things from bad things. May Allah make anything that comes out of us a good thing (ameen).

7. Make sure she does Islamic activities

Activities in Islam are uncountable and they are not obligatory to anyone, hence, you can perform as how as you like. In this view, a lady must not be a completely full memorizer of Qur’an before you propose her and ask for her hand in marriage.

Being a lady who does Islamic activities is not about memorizing Qur’an and knowing a lot of Hadiths of hand. Although, it is an added advantage for you as a husband to marry lady who know much about her deen, Islam because that will give her capability to teach your childre in future where you are not at home. A lady who has knowledge about Islam and also knows about how things work will never let you go astray.

Read this also: Important Duas for daily life in Islam and their meaning in English.

8. Investigate if she is fertile

The purpose of every marriage is to give birth to an offspring. In Islam, it is ordered that one should not marry the one is unfertile or can’t give birth to a baby as a result of sickness or cutting off vital organ in aiding reproduction such as vas deferens tube or fallopian tubes.

Some women cut/block their fallopian tubes to avoid pregnancy, hence, you have to investigate on behalf and make sure you find out positive result before you finally propose her. It is allowed to ask a lady about her marital status, for example, ”are you married?”, ”have you married before?”, ”how many children have you given birth to?”, ”can you still be able to give birth to a child?”.

9. Make sure she has leadership mind

In English, women are known as a house wife but in Arab, they refer their women as rabuh manzil. In some cases, house wife is known as queen in the house. Being a queen, when the king is not around, you are the one that would represent him. From this reason, when choosing a lady to marry, carefully choose the one that has leadership mind and can represent you are out of home

Do not marry a mad lady. Marry the one who speak wisely and acts gently. Please note that the first knowledge will inherent will be that of their mom, thus, make sure your wife must have little Islamic knowledge.

10. Examine/test and make sure she is not a prostitute

Islam totally forbid men to marry a prostitute woman. If you know that a lady has engaged with someone, it is haram to ask for her hand in marriage unless you know that she is sterile.

That is why it is very important to consult other people especially the neighbors of the lady you want to propose before showing to her that you really love her and ask for her hand in marriage.

11. Perform dua Istikhara

Now, the next step is perform dua Istikhara. Click here to know the step by step guides on how to perform/pray dua Istikhara.

12. Propose her

After you have done all steps above and come out with a positive result, now is the best time schedule a day to go propose her. When going to make a proposal, make sure you go smartly, when talking with her, talk slowly while looking into her eyes.

For her to quickly accept you, go with your brother in faith.


I hope this article has helped you how to propose a lady for marriage in marriage? Please let’s hear what you may have to say via the comment section. For more important updates from us, remember to subscribe to our newsletter or follow us on Facebook.

Read this also: Midwifery courses to study in UK and their requirements.

Abdulrazaq Yahaya

Hi. Welcome to Fastknowers. On this blog, I share articles on how to develop your personal and career life. If you did like this article, please share it with others.

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