two lovely married couples

Marriage is a gift of God to every being. As a human being, there is a stage that you would in your life when you would start to about getting married. If you want to engage in marriage, here are our pieces of advice for you.

First, we advise you to love the one you marry but don’t marry who you love. perhaps, you may want to ask “I shouldn’t get married to someone I love? Writer, why?”, right?

Wait! This type of advice is philosophical and we are going to break it down for you in such a way that you could easily understand.

Getting married these days without flaws is one of the biggest deals for both men and women. If you are planning to marry the partner of your dream, congratulations to you for planning the best plan.

Every time is the best time. In this article, we shall discuss with you what scriptures revealed about who you should marry and who you shouldn’t.

Marriage is the most important thing in the world in the sight of God. If God didn’t value marriage, He wouldn’t have created a helper (Eve) for Adam in the garden of Eden.

No matter what rank you have in pastoring or worshipping, if you don’t marry, you don’t have value in the kingdom of God.

The existence of partners is very valuable in the eye of God. Marriage doesn’t do anything for Him but He only values it. He wants “Husband and wife” on earth.

And that is why He created Adam and made him a husband to Eve.

God thinks that without a helper (wife), you can’t worship Him and carry out other of your daily duties to an extent. If you say you fear God too much without marriage, that is your own concern.

How a person should love who he/she marries but shouldn’t marry who she loves

In the scriptures (God’s sayings), it is revealed that one should love who he/she marries but not marry one who he/she loves. The is no way that “you must get married to who you love” is written in the book of religion; Qur’an and Bible.

For marriage to exist smoothly, both partners have to love themselves after they get married. The book of God doesn’t say that you should love a person before you get into marriage with him/her.

But it doesn’t say that doing so is a sin.

The philosophy “love the one you marry but don’t marry who you love” prevents premarital sex. As a matter of fact, if you say that you must marry who you love, your relationship may not lead to marriage because, in the process, one partner may intend to abandon you and go to another person

Note that marriage is not a funfair but warfare, hence, you need to do something it takes to guarantee your welfare.

If you obey this philosophy (title of this post), you will see many welfares in your marriage. However, there are advantages and disadvantages involved in this philosophy.

Read these also:
1. How to do Istikhara for marriage step by step.
2. 35 things that you can do to make your girlfriend happy.
3. What to consider in Islam before letting someone marry your daughter.
4. Four types of person in terms of love you have to know.

Here are why or how “love the one you get married to but don’t marry the one you love” advantageous


It makes the surest marriage takes place. Two partners that want to marry themselves in a Godly manner shouldn’t believe that they must be affection between them.

If they know that they know how to show affection, they should do it after marriage.

This philosophy doesn’t recommend day-long courtship. In many cases, a courtship that has stayed more than three months would not likely get to marriage.

Love the one you get married to but don’t marry who you are in love with prevents you from initiating premarital sex (sex outside marriage).

Your body is your dignity, don’t let the wrong person enter or use it. Once you give your overall dignity to a person, he/she would do it anyhow.

If you are single, know that you are single. Don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. And don’t think about the people around you that are doing this because your own case is different.

It prevents you from contracting contagious diseases. If you converse that the only person that will know your real you is your partner, fulfill that conversation or promise. God will arrange your partner and surprise you one day.

Make you valued at the sight of your partner. Every man wants to marry a lady who is holy, responsible, and clean. Most men don’t care about the beauty of their partner once she has all of the qualities above.

As the child of God, learn to obey the philosophical quote “love the one you marry but don’t marry the one you love”.

If a man is a God-fearing man and knows his responsibility, accept his marriage proposal and start to develop your love toward him.

Your children would be responsible and Godly. If you got married in the right way, there is no way you will give birth to a child of the devil.

They will also hear your words and obey your advice. God will make you a child that would save you in the world and hereafter.


The disadvantages of refusing to love who you marry are too many and very self-explanatory. Sometimes, a person that you think you love may not love you by one percent.

Love is the development of desire towards something. For example, if your desire is to marry a man who has a big chest, then you have entered the hunt of searching for those types of men while you don’t completely know the average number of men with big chests are a kidnapper, armed robbery, drug misuser, smoker and others.

This post is mostly meant for ladies who think that they won’t marry any other man unless he is the one they love. If you believe that, your chance of getting married is on the probable side.

You are advised to marry who is God-fearing and knows his responsibility, and his future. Once a man has gotten all these characteristics, everything you need in a man would be automatically added to you.

If you look around, who are the rich men that are fine than their partner? If you say that it is a person who you have affection for you will marry, you would find a man that would not care about you but would have anything you wish, for example, a house, car, and money.

Do you want a man that sleeps back at you? Or do you want to marry a man that would care about your parents and siblings?

Don’t earlier say that “I love you”. This statement is very heavy. only your mouth can’t say these three words.

If you are proud that you love your partner, one thing is strongly involved. Show your love to him or her via action.

Some advice for newly married men about their in-laws

Love your partner only, don't love others.

In-laws are the most vital parts of marriage. They have the ability to make your marriage work, hence, putting them at the side of your brain.

Ninety percent of the crisis in marriage today is caused by in-laws. It can be from brothers to sisters-in-law poking their noses into your marriage.

Here are the pieces of our advice about how to interact with your in-laws as a married man.
Now, let’s start.

  • You must take your in-laws as your own biological parents and siblings.
  • Learn the limit of your responsibility for them.
  • Don’t say lie to them. Let them know the type of responsibility that you can afford and the one you cannot afford.
  • Anything you do with them, do with wisdom.
  • Be cautious about your sisters-in-law. Know the limit of the type of love and care you show to them.
  • Get involved in most of their problems because you are already a part of that family.
  • Note that your first priority is that of your immediate family, hence, don’t solve your in-laws’ problems first before you start to solve your own.
  • Don’t learn to look like a needy man before your in-laws, no matter the difficult situation you are facing. If you miss this, you will lose your values.
  • Invite them to the religion of good. Let them know the worthy God to be worshipped.

Things that a male partner should do to make awesome marriage

Your wife and you must be responsible for the maintenance of the home. You as a man in marriage should be the one to encourage your wife to maintain or clean the home.

Any day you are not going out very early, carry out one or more house maintenance duties like sweeping the resting room, cleaning the dining table, washing the toilet, and many more. If you do these types of things, your wife will feel that you can do everything without her.

You must cherish and love your wife and try to involve her anytime you are planning. At the point of your planning, let her involve. Tell her what you are planning to do in the next week, month or year.

As a married man, you shouldn’t exclude your wife from your planning schedule. Don’t believe that she has witchcraft that would shadow your planning. If you believe that, there won’t be joy in your marriage.

If you are a woman reading this, submit everything you possess to your husband. And you as a husband, let your wife submit to you. Assist your husband in raising the children.

Your in-laws are your parents and siblings, you must always care for them. While caring for them, don’t play with the future of your children.

Make sure your children are trained goodly and Godly.

Don’t steal your wife’s need, intimacy. It is a virtue that every marriage cannot exist without. No matter how busy you are, don’t miss intimacy at the right time.

Being the leader of a marriage is not a statement. As a man, your responsibilities are your speaker.

If found this post helpful, please share it with your friends and also comment with any questions you may have via the comment section.

Abdulrazaq Yahaya

Hi. Welcome to Fastknowers. On this blog, I share articles on how to develop your personal and career life. If you did like this article, please share it with others.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. pastor dape

    pastor dape words,is a good talk,i pray ur talk wil influence plenty lovers in jesus name amen.

    1. Author

      Ameen. Thank you.

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